


let's talk about sex, baby

by benzaaldehyde



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: A little, AU where Misa is not the second Kira, Angst, Bisexual L (Death Note), Cheating, Dubious Consent, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Light is the worst, Smut, i didn't want any and then it snuck up on me, sex for the sake of education!, this was titled "Light is a Dick" but then i changed it, this whole thing is pretty toxic tbh you've been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:14:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22110901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benzaaldehyde/pseuds/benzaaldehyde
Summary: After a rough night with Light, Misa realizes she has a lot of learning to do about sex.So she turns to the smartest guy she knows.
Relationships: Amane Misa/L, Amane Misa/Yagami Light
Comments: 59
Kudos: 225





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> i believe dubcon and referenced noncon are appropriate warnings, though i am not very good at identifying these things. please please let me know if there is anything i can add to tag this properly!
> 
> also: sex varies SO MUCH person to person. as long as all parties are consenting and everyone is safe, there is no "right way" to do it. i am not a sex expert (a sexpert, if you will) by ANY stretch of the imagination, so please take everything in this fic with a huge grain of salt. 
> 
> HUGE thank you to @yuneyn for her support. go read her fics bc she's amazing!
> 
> title from salt-n-pepa’s song of the same name.
> 
> follow me on [tumblr](https://benzaaldehyde.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/benzaaldehyde) if ya want!
> 
> annnnnd i think that's it! enjoy!

“Ryuuzaki, I want you to have sex with me.”

The man seated awkwardly on a stool across the breakfast bar pauses mid-chew, the unbitten half of a strawberry still delicately held in front of his mouth. He stares at her.

The blonde inhales, forcing herself to believe it calms her. She makes her way around the bar and winces as she gingerly lowers herself onto a stool near the man. She notices his eyes flick down to the lower half of her body when her expression changes, but he says nothing.

Ryuuzaki slowly resumes his chewing.

“Perhaps Misa is confusing me with Light now that he is no longer chained to me,” he reasons slowly. “He should be on the floor below yours—"

“No, I want _you_ to have sex with me,” Misa states firmly. _Confidently,_ she reminds herself. _Tenacity is key._ The man stares at her again. She needs to keep control of this conversation. She needs information. “Have you ever had sex with anyone before, Ryuuzaki?”

After a beat of silence, he nods slowly. No elaboration.

“Was it with a girl?” She questions. _Control._

A long moment goes past without any words spoken. He doesn’t even blink.

“Ryuuzaki?” She intones.

Stare.

Misa blows out an impatient breath. “Okay then. Are you any good at it?”

Silence. He just keeps _staring_ at her. What’s wrong with him? Why won’t he say anything? _Do not panic,_ she tells herself. _He is strange and you already knew that._ His freakish black eyes look wary as he carefully places the rest of the strawberry in his mouth. He looks as if he has encountered an unpredictable animal. “Are you hurt?” He asks around the strawberry, ignoring her question.

“What?” Misa asks too quickly. “No, of course not. Answer my question.”

His stare shifts into something more analytical. The change in his expression is profound and it makes her heart sink—she no longer has the upper hand in this conversation. She can already feel her confidence from before begin to wane. He is quiet for a calculating moment.

“Misa Misa is injured. Why would she lie about it?” He muses, placing an index finger to his lips. She could practically _see_ the ridiculous percentages forming behind his eyes.

“Ryuuzaki, I’m not hurt!” She says loudly, a touch too defensive. “Why won’t you answer me?”

“Because this is more important,” he says simply. He straightens out one leg to rest on the stool closest to Misa, then stands on his current stool to switch seats. He crouches on his new perch and leans forward, invading her personal space, eyeballs inches away from her own. His face is completely out of focus. “Does Light know Misa is down here? It is quite late.”

Misa leans back on her stool, wanting distance between them immediately. “Why does it matter?”

“Avoidance is abnormal behavior for Misa, as are these questions regarding my sex life,” he states. “It is also unusual for Misa to be found anywhere in the building outside of her own floor without Light.” He leans forward even more. His face is so close that his eyes flick between hers, unable to maintain normal eye contact. “There is a sixty-eight percent chance that these uncharacteristic occurrences are related.”

The blonde rolls her eyes exaggeratedly, attempting to hide her obvious discomfort at his proximity. “Whatever, Ryuuzaki. Forget I said anything.” She slides off her stool with forced nonchalance, the movement bringing a small grimace to her delicate features. She starts to walk out the door she came in.

“Misa,” he calls out patiently. She agitatedly turns back around, hands on her hips.

Pause.

“Why do you want me to have sex with you?”

Pause.

“Education,” she replies brusquely.

She is met once more with a stare, this one more blank than the rest. Misa waits a few awkward moments for a response and, after not receiving one, turns on her heel to walk back out the door, cringing all the way back to her room.

≠

It took Misa ages to fall asleep. She stared at the ceiling, eyes drifting in and out of focus, thoughts meandering back to the night before, Light’s angry grunts reverberating in her skull. Once she did finally find peace and slumber, she was woken by something shifting on her bed. Misa cracked one eye open carefully, and then flung both open in shock, shrieking loudly.

“ _Ryuuzaki!_ ” She hisses at the man crouched atop her mattress, far too close for Misa’s comfort. “What are you doing here?!”

“When Misa says education-“ he continues their previous conversation as if no time had passed. “Is she implying she wants knowledge of the methods I use during intercourse?” He asks. “Or is it something else?” He looks down at his feet on the bedspread. He starts again, employing a separate train of thought. “Is Misa Misa a virgin?”

Misa sputters. “No! No Ryuuzaki—”

“It is quite alright if she is.” He looks back up to her eyes. They’re shining in the dim light of her bedroom. “Virginity is merely a social construct created by men in power to keep women—"

“I’m not a virgin!” _God._

He has no immediate response, so Misa sits up on her bed, shifting backwards to lean against the headboard. Her loose t-shirt is bunched up under the covers and she wears only panties otherwise, so she secures the blanket around her hips to preserve her modesty. The blonde looks down at her fingernails, forearms resting across her comforter, suddenly feeling timid.

She can _feel_ his eyes resting on her face. Misa does not want to give him the satisfaction of eye contact. Frankly, she does not feel she _could_ at the moment.

“I want to learn about how to have… _sex_ ,” she struggles with the word. “With you. So I can be better at it for Light.”

There is silence on his end for a moment, but she refuses to look up. Shyness does not sit well with Misa.

After several beats, he asks, “And what makes Misa think I am qualified for the job?”

Feeling defensive, she crosses her arms across her chest, wanting to put a physical barrier between the two of them. “Because you’re, like, stupidly smart,” she states. “And you are also a pervert, so you probably know everything about things like…” She waves her fingers from where they are secured across her chest. “-like that. I want to know what you know about… you know.”

“Sex,” he supplies for _no reason_.

Misa clicks her tongue and then rolls her eyes, finally lifting her face from its downcast position. “ _Yes_ , Ryuuzaki. _That._ ”

The man stares at her face. Misa does not know what to do with her features, so she keeps her face blank. Well, as blank as she can manage. The blonde doesn’t feel comfortable discussing this. It took her twenty minutes of hyping herself up just to approach the strange man in the first place, and _now_ he wants to talk about _doing it_ like it’s nothing and Misa is not okay with that because she just woke up and she is feeling disoriented and people don’t just talk about _sex_. She feels so uncomfortable discussing this, why can’t he make this quick?

“Misa is rather immature,” the raven-haired man states, quite unhelpfully.

Misa feels her face heat up. She is thankful for the darkness of her bedroom.

“If you don’t want to do it, all you have to do is say so!”

“I never said that,” he insists.

She is feeling embarrassed and impatient and _done_ with this conversation.

Really, Misa does not feel she is asking for a lot. Many people would kill to be in his position, if her late-nights consisting of browsing _Misa Misa!_ online forums were any indication. All she wants is to please her man. Her _Light._ She wants things to be better with him than last night, she can’t do that again. No, she needs to keep him by her side and to do that, Misa needs to be more prepared than she was before, and L is the key to making that happen.

She doesn’t want Light upset with her again.

“What then? What are you saying, Ryuuzaki?”

He looks at her. He _really_ looks at her, his eyes penetrating hers. He has such a heavy intensity to him, it’s as if there’s another person in the room. It makes her uncomfortable, even more than she already is. She looks around in the darkness frantically, avoiding his eyes, turning her face slightly to the left, looking for something, _anything_ , to distract her. The silence drags on for what feels like forever. She flicks her eyes back to his for a quick second, only to find that his remain unchanged, still intently boring into hers. Looking for something.

Finally, something in his eyes clicks.

“Alright,” he says.

Misa freezes.

“Alright, what?” She asks.

“Alright, I’ll have sex with Misa.”

Something… yes, something flits through her body, tingling and branching. Nervousness? Excitement?

Dread?

Misa schools her face into something passive. Professional. She aims for an ‘ah, I’ve been expecting this answer all along’ expression. She nods once.

“Of course,” the blonde says calmly. This is exactly what she had been expecting all along, yes—

Abruptly, Ryuuzaki drops to his knees from his crouch and his hands start working on his jeans, pushing them down his hips.

Misa scrambles away from him, panicked. “Ryuuzaki! What are you doing?!”

Only his eyes move, darting up to hers from where they were downcast. His hands pause. “I am going to have sex with Misa,” he states.

The model sputters, disbelieving. “Not right _now_!”

Ryuuzaki lifts his head in confusion. “When, then? Now seems like a perfectly acceptable time,” he tells her, frustration seeping into his tone. “Misa is already undressed and it won’t take me long to disrobe as well—”

“I just— Ryuuzaki, stop taking your jeans off!” She doesn’t think she could keep the horror from her face even if she tried.

His hands leave his jeans completely, leaving them unbuttoned and loose on his hips.

“Okay,” Misa breathes out. “Okay, let’s restart.”

The detective stares at her, waiting.

“We are going to do… _it_ ,” she cringes internally as she speaks. “But we are not going to do it tonight. I need to bathe first and be…” she trails off, looking at his face. Blank. “I just need to prepare for it, alright?”

He is quiet for a moment, and then he nods once. “If that is what Misa needs, then that is what shall happen,” he tells her, refastening his baggy jeans. He resumes his crouch. “Tomorrow evening?”

Misa feels some tension leave her shoulders.

“Yes, yeah, that- uh,” Misa clears her throat. “That would be acceptable.”

The raven-haired man watches her for a moment, vague dubiousness seeping into his eyes.

“Watari will run Misa a bath, please come to my quarters whenever is appropriate.” And with that, he stands, _stands,_ on her bed and walks across it to step off. A muted thud sounds out as his foot hits the carpet. He slouches to her bedroom door and opens it, turning only slightly so he is watching her from the very corner of his eye.

“Until tomorrow, Misa.”

The blonde watches him close the door, mindful of the sound. Once the door is shut, she hears nothing. No footsteps, no talking, nothing.

She lets her body fall back onto the bed.

_Fuck._

≠

Misa steps out of the elevator, walking down the hallway that leads to the investigation headquarters. The model has an intense desire to spend time with Light before her night with Ryuuzaki. It is near lunch time and, while she knows Light well enough that he will probably work through his lunch, she still wants his time and attention when she can get it and lunch seems like an appropriate time.

The blonde rounds the corner and sees Matsuda animatedly chatting with Mogi and Aizawa while Soichiro silently tends to their case files. On the other side of the room, Ryuuzaki and Light sit in separate chairs, handcuff chain no longer between them. Misa’s body feels so full and _happy_ at the sight of Light. _Her_ Light. She starts skipping toward them.

“Light!” She sings. The brunet manages to turn around just in time for Misa to crash her body into his, looping her arms around his neck. “How are you doing, my love?” The model asks as she maneuvers herself onto his lap. She is thankful there is no sharp stab of pain in her pelvis—it is more a dull ache now—so she is better able to control her expression.

Light sighs. “Misa, we’ve been over this.”

Misa puts a finger to her lips, dramatically playing dumb. “Been over what?” She makes her eyes wide and pleading, wanting to pull at his heart strings. All she wants is some attention, is that so much to ask? She thinks not.

Unfortunately, he does not even look at her face. “We are working right now, Misa,” he tells her as he begins pulling her arms from around his neck. “We don’t have time for this.”

Misa pouts, crossing her arms across her chest. She is just about to respond when Matsuda cuts in.

“Misa Misa!” He cheers, only just noticing her presence.

Cross or not, Misa is always happy to see Matsuda. “Hi Matsu,” she beams, reaching her arms out for a hug while she sits on Light’s lap. He jogs over to her and pulls her into a pleasant embrace, made slightly awkward due to her position on Light’s lap and the way the brunet leans away from them in vague distaste.

She engages Matsuda in lively conversation— _the man truly is vibrant in every way_ , she thinks to herself. He is so open and warm and easy to love. _Like a dog_. As he regales colorful anecdotes from the weekend prior with wild gesticulations and theatrical facial expressions, she watches him with genuine warmth in her eyes. She responds appropriately and exaggeratedly and she almost forgets she is sitting on Light’s lap.

She feels her skin start to prickle, the same it does when she finds a spider or feels she is being watched. Misa turns her head slightly as Matsuda chats and in her periphery, she can see Ryuuzaki. Her eyes meet his, and his stare is completely unwavering.

Something fascinated and vaguely sinister sits behind his charcoal eyes. She feels like an ant under his sunlit magnifying glass. Misa sits there, frozen to Light’s lap, waiting for something to happen. The detective unknowingly leans forward in his crouch just the slightest bit, lost in his head, thumb to his lips. Her eyes drop to his lips, thin and moist pressed to his digit.

“—right, Misa?”

Misa blinks.

“Oh, right Matsu! You’re so right!” She forces out a giggle for authenticity. Misa has no idea what he was talking about. She suddenly needs to get out of here.

“Anyway, it was great seeing you guys!” Misa stands from Light’s lap. If anyone notices her abruptness, no one mentions it. “I’ll see you later, Light,” she breathes out his name like a wish and kisses his cheek.

The model makes a hasty exit, briskly rounding the corner for the hallway, decidedly _not_ turning around.

What has she gotten herself into?

≠

The large, almond-shaped tub is filled with pleasantly warm water. As Misa steps lightly into the bath, she notices the water has a silky, slippery texture to it—Watari must have added Epsom salts or perhaps an oil to the bath. There are various candles lit around the tub that smell sweetly of vanilla, giving the room a warm amber glow. She lowers herself into the bath more fully, wincing despite herself as her bottom makes contact with the floor of the tub. She splashes water up onto her shoulders, and her thoughts wander back to Light and his cold bedroom from a few nights prior. She flinches slightly as sensory memory of harsh hands and rough grunts flood through her.

 _Light loves me_ , she thinks. _I just need to be more educated next time._

 _He will be so happy when he sees what I’ve learned_ , she tells herself. She cannot wait to make him see what she is capable of. If Ryuuzaki can show her the right moves, she can satisfy her man and be the girlfriend he needs. _He is so handsome._ He has these golden auburn eyes that remind her of sunsets. His laugh is warm and attractive and he _dresses_ so—

Her thoughts flick back to the other night.

She shakes her head. _Light loves me_ , she reaffirms. _He loves me and no one else._

She splashes water over her bare chest and shoulders once more, hunching further into the water. Misa looks around the room again. She notices how this room is a stark contrast to Light’s dark utilitarian bedroom. With how gloomy and detached Ryuuzaki seems, she would assume that he would have a living space more to the likes of Light’s pragmatic bedroom. In reality, however, Light’s glow and warmth is muddled by his environment, whereas Ryuuzaki is the opposite. Ryuuzaki, it seems, has a taste for luxury. _It’s as if they swapped places_ , Misa muses.

Her thoughts are interrupted by Ryuuzaki shuffling into the room.

“Watari has assured me that we shall be left alone. The taskforce has been sent home for the night,” he informs her in his soft monotone. He raises his thumb to his lips and speaks around it. “Is the bath to Misa’s liking?”

Misa crosses her arms protectively over herself, feeling self-conscious.

“The water is fine. I _normally_ have music and bubbles in my baths, but it’s… What are you doing, Ryuuzaki?”

The detective’s shirt flops to the floor. He begins unfastening his baggy jeans. “I am joining Misa in her bath.”

“ _Why?_ ”

Ryuuzaki’s jeans drop to the pearly tile, falling right past his legs. He places his thumbs in the waistband of his loose boxer shorts. “To get clean, and to help Misa get clean.” His expression says that he doubts Misa’s intelligence. He shoves his shorts down his skinny, pale thighs and slouches toward the bath, completely nude. Misa holds a hand up to retain some sense of _decency_ in this situation.

“But—but getting clean is sort of _private_ , Ryuuzaki!” She hisses at him, glaring at the water. “Light does _not_ take baths with me, and he knows a thing or two about hygiene. Unlike _some_ people,” she says pointedly.

He lowers his body into the water gracefully, situating himself against the opposite side of the tub from the blonde. He stays in his hunched position, arms wrapped lazily around his shins, knees protruding from the surface of the water. She lifts her face to his, and his dumb, giant eyes stare at her. “Light knows many things,” he allows. “But he knows nothing of intimacy.”

Misa blows out some air, flicking some golden hair from her eyes and looks back at him defiantly. “And you do?” She challenges.

A small smirk emerges on Ryuuzaki’s stupid face. “I do.”

She huffs and looks to the wall. “You really are a pervert.”

Ryuuzaki says nothing in return, he only stares at her a moment longer before letting his head drop so it hangs off the side of the tub. His posture loosens further, his knees falling apart slightly and his hands drop to his sides under the water. Not that she was _looking_ at Ryuuzaki’s body under the water or anything. She is not a pervert like _him_.

Things are quiet in the bath for a moment before Ryuuzaki lifts his head and reaches for some body wash that was set beside the tub. He begins slathering some on his upper arms.

“This is an unscented body wash, Misa,” he tells her casually.

“Okay,” she sounds out. He throws her a look. “And?”

He unconcernedly rubs soap on his torso, hands curling around his own shoulders. “And I have been told that women should not use soap with fragrance on their genitals,” he states. Misa gapes at him. Ryuuzaki continues in that same casual tone. “In fact, women should not use soap in their genitals whatsoever as it may upset the pH balance in the vagina.”

“Ryuuzaki!” Misa shrieks, covering her ears. “Stop talking!”

He stops washing himself for a moment and levels her with an unimpressed look. “Misa, you should not be so sensitive to such language. If one cannot speak of sex, one should not have sex,” he says resolutely. He reaches for the soap once more as he continues nonchalantly. “And that is what we shall be doing, yes?”

“Yes, Ryuuzaki,” she grinds out, dropping her hands from her ears. “But you don’t need to be such a creep about it.”

Ryuuzaki merely shrugs and that’s that. He continues to cleanse his body; his movements disturb the water so it laps gently around Misa’s arms where they are now resting by her sides. She is stubbornly not making eye contact with the black mop of hair across from her.

“Is Misa going to clean herself?” She hears him ask.

“Not while you’re watching.”

“And why is that?”

Misa hesitates. “I have… _parts_ I need to clean,” she tells him, flustered. “And I don’t want some weirdo watching me do it!” She could feel her cheeks start to heat up and she lifts her eyes to glare at him. The skin around his eyes is crinkled slightly in amusement.

“Let’s see… the last shower Misa took was this morning, was it not?” He lifts an index finger to his lips, eyes rolling toward the ceiling. “Yes, I believe that is correct. And given how Misa did not perform any strenuous activity today, nor is she menstruating, she should—”

“Ryuuzaki! Enough!” Her cheeks are bright red now. Ryuuzaki’s eyes drop down to hers once more. There is a fond warmth in them as he watches her face in silence.

She huffs, crossing her arms once more and glares at the tile beside the tub. After a few beats of silence, she feels Ryuuzaki wrap his fingers around her ankles.

“Misa, I would like to help you clean yourself.”

“Like hell you will, Ryuuzaki!” She yells, attempting to pull her ankles from his grip.

“This is not a sexual activity, Misa. An important aspect of sexual intercourse is proper personal hygiene, and I wish to be of service.” His huge eyes are wide and sincere. “If you would like me to educate you on sexual matters, it is necessary that we begin correctly.” She slowly uncrosses her arms and maintains eye contact.

After a beat of silence, Misa responds. “You can wash my feet,” she permits reluctantly. “But _only_ my feet!”

“I can wash feet,” he nods.

Ryuuzaki shifts his legs so they are now crossed and folded under the water. He places her right foot atop his shins and he squirts body wash into his palms. The black-haired man lifts her foot from the water and begins cleansing it by driving a thumb down her arch. His other hand comes up and massages the top of her foot, gentle and confident. His ghoulish, spindly fingers are actually pretty good at this, she realizes.

 _Whatever_ , she thinks. _This doesn’t mean anything_.

There are a few minutes of silence while Ryuuzaki works. Misa is feeling surprisingly relaxed—much more than what she was expecting to feel. As he gingerly places her foot back into the water to grab the other one, she leans back against the side of the tub and sighs contentedly, closing her eyes. Her mind wanders back to Light and his radiant eyes and unforgiving hands.

She is broken out of her small reverie when Ryuuzaki’s hands begin to massage up her calf, squeezing the thick muscle there and massaging under her knee. Misa opens her eyes to watch Ryuuzaki.

“That’s not my foot.”

Ryuuzaki looks up to catch her eyes, but his hands do not cease.

“I recognize that.”

His eyes do not move from hers as his hands continue to press into her calf, movements made slippery by soap and water. His eyes are giant and intense and creepy and dark and they bore into her eyes and she misses Light’s eyes. His eyes are not as… unnerving as Ryuuzaki’s. She must do this for Light. She must do this for their love.

She relaxes back against the tub once more and allows him to work. His hands are surprisingly strong, given how gawky his fingers seem. They rub firmly up and down, reaching a bit higher with each pass down her leg. His eyes are still glued to hers, watching her face. She resolutely does not change her features, not giving him the satisfaction of affected facial expressions. Instead, she looks down at the water and watches the thin layer of soap swirl on the surface.

“Misa, how many times have you had sex with Light?”

She feels tingling rise again on her cheeks. She does not move her eyes from the water. “Once.”

His hands pause. “Have you had any other partners besides Light?”

The burn intensifies under her cheekbones. “No,” she mumbles.

His pale hands remain still, one atop her right knee, the other curled around her left calf. He does not move for several moments, but she is reluctant to meet his eyes. His voice breaks the silence.

“Are you positive you are comfortable with what we are about to do, Misa?”

Misa stays quiet for a moment, and then exhales. _No point in lying to him_.

“No, I’m not comfortable with this. But I need to do it.” She finally raises her eyes to meet Ryuuzaki’s own. “I need to do it for Light.”

His brow sets into a stern expression. _Here we go_.

“I am not having sex for the sake of martyrdom. You must be comfortable with this, otherwise this is not happening.”

She huffs out a breath. “Ryuuzaki, I think you are an ugly pervert who sits weird and bites his nails, so no, I am not comfortable with this,” she pauses. “But I also think you are really smart and I think you can help me with my problem with Light,” she tells him matter-of-factly. “I want to do this for _him_.”

His deadpan expression is immobile. “So this is purely for education,” he monotones.

She nods confidently. “Yes.”

“And you are perfectly alright with having sex with me, despite your aversion to my appearance.”

Misa takes a breath and then nods again. “Yes.”

And with that, his hands resume their journey on her legs, however they are definitively directed upwards this time around. “Then we shall continue,” he nods.

Disturbing the water, he scoots his body toward hers and opens her thighs. His lifts one of her legs to rest it on the outside of the tub, and after doing the same to the other leg, he props her butt on his legs under the water. She feels _extremely_ exposed in this position, oh god. She covers her eyes with her wet hands.

Ryuuzaki squirts more body wash into his palms and then runs his hands down her thighs, thumbs pressing into the crease where her legs meet her hips. She feels him rub his thumbs up and down that crease, massaging firmly. He begins to spread her labia slightly with each motion of his thumbs. The sheer _intimacy_ of the situation makes her want to never remove her hands from her eyes. Light never did this—Light’s face never went anywhere _near_ this part of her body.

She feels his hands drop lower and curl underneath her thighs, just under the curve of her ass. His thumbs are still spreading her open slightly as they work. Suddenly, conspicuously, his hands halt altogether.

A few seconds roll by awkwardly as nothing happens. She feels him start to deliberately prod at her folds, pulling and spreading delicately.

“What? What is it?” She demands, keeping her eyes covered.

“Light tore you.”

It takes a moment for that sentence to sink in for Misa. She slowly drops her hands to watch his face. Ryuuzaki looks… well, he looks angry. Really angry. He was not looking at her face, still inspecting her nether regions.

“What do you mean, he _tore_ me?”

“You have a freshly healing scar coming from your anus.” His eyes flick up to hers. They are quietly furious. “You didn’t mention anything about anal sex, Misa.” His voice was his usual monotone, not reflecting the anger that was currently pooling in his eyes.

Suddenly, Misa felt defensive. How _dare_ he judge her like this?

“It’s not your business what I do with my boyfriend, Ryuuzaki,” she says coolly. She felt surprisingly indignant, given her current position in the tub.

“It’s not—” he stops. “Misa. Anal sex can be very painful and dangerous if done incorrectly. Once you have an open wound—"

The blonde cuts him off. “It doesn’t matter, Ryuuzaki! It’s done! Leave it alone!”

Silence. His mouth sets into a flat line, heavy disapproval emanating from his eyes. He looks back down to inspect her injury.

“You do not appear to be infected,” he tells her. His eyes meet hers once more. “Did he use a condom?”

She rolls her eyes. “ _Yes_ , Ryuuzaki,” she exasperates.

The black-haired man did not let up. “Did he penetrate you vaginally after anal intercourse?”

She shakes her head. “No, he… he was done after he switched to… _that_.”

Ryuuzaki fell silent once more. His eyes drop back down to her pelvis, and she feels a thumb begin to gently rub along her healing wound. It felt tremendously intimate and… nice.

“I assume he did not ask for your permission to do that,” he spoke, his voice low and pensive. It was not a question.

Misa hesitates a moment before shaking her head anyway, and Ryuuzaki did not even look up to see her response.

“Sex should not be _endured_ ,” he states. He raises his eyes to hers. “And that is what I will be teaching you tonight.”

Without further ado, his hands slide up from behind to lay flat atop her split thighs, index fingers nestled into the crease where her thighs meet her pelvis. His thumbs rub along her labia, spreading her folds and massaging up and down, up and down. His expression is one of passive determination—his eyes are set and resolute, however his lips are parted slightly, softening his features.

His thumbs begin to creep inwards, still rubbing smoothly along her folds, squeezing the flesh between his thumbs and forefingers slightly, and he continues this for several minutes. Misa’s skin is still waxed smooth from when Light told her to do it before, so his movements glide nicely along her skin. The blonde relaxes back into the water. She keeps her face passive—she still does not want to give him any satisfaction of looking affected by this, she is far too stubborn for that—but she does feel better with Ryuuzaki than she did before. She is actually feeling a little better than better, if she were being honest with herself. If she were being _really_ honest with herself, she would recognize that maybe she is feeling a little flushed, and _maybe_ Ryuuzaki isn’t as ugly as he was a few minutes ago.

Before she realizes it, her hand moves forward of its own volition and sweeps Ryuuzaki’s wild hair from his eyes. He looks up at her briefly before returning to the task at hand, so to speak. His shoulders move a little from where he is nestled between her thighs as he massages. His hands are very careful to not advance any further—he is massaging her and nothing more. Misa is just… _feeling_ things. She has been massaged before—she hopes to one day have her own personal masseuse if her modeling career takes off like she wants it to—but any massage she has ever had pales in comparison to this one. She feels hot and her pelvis feels… throbby? Her parts feel warm and tingly. It’s as if there is an itch where Ryuuzaki is massaging and he is not doing quite enough to scratch it. She is like a sponge full of water and he has hardly wrung any water out.

This has quickly escalated from relaxing to _maddening_. Locking her eyes on his downcast ones, she begins to move her hips with his sure, confident movements. Her expression remains immobile. He looks up at her, a question in his eyes, and stills his hands.

“Do you wish to proceed, Misa?”

Misa is silent for a moment before nodding her head. Without preamble, the raven-haired man turns around to pull the plug from the drain and then lifts Misa’s butt from his shins.

“Then let us proceed.”

While Misa struggles to get her legs back into the tub, Ryuuzaki stands. She glances up on reflex and gets quite the eyeful as Ryuuzaki is _still_ naked and _still_ strangely hunched and _still_ pale as ever and _still naked oh_ _my god I took a bath with Ryuuzaki._ The thought hits her like a train, and a wave of vertigo crashes over her. This feels so surreal suddenly and she takes a moment to sit in the bath as the water level lowers. _The_ Ryuuzaki—the frog-like oddity who eats cake and chains himself to his suspects—is here, _naked_ , in a bathroom that _she is also naked in_ and he is…

Handing her a towel.

“Here, Misa. Take your time drying off,” he tells her and saunters out of the room, naked as the day he was born, dripping water onto the tile. Misa’s arm is raised, holding a fluffy ivory towel, staring in shock. His departure jumpstarts her into action, however, and she stands in the tub. Her hair is still dry—she did already shower today, after all—so she wraps the towel around her torso, tucking it under her arms. Misa walks to the large, lavish set of mirrors in the bathroom. There are three of them, so she can view herself from all angles. Her face is flushed. Her eyes look bright and shiny. Misa schools her face into something more truly impassive—she believed she was doing a better job of that than she had been.

She stares a moment longer at her reflection before unwrapping the towel from her body and meticulously drying off every inch of her skin, from her bare shoulders to between her wriggling toes. She can feel her body calming down from Ryuuzaki’s massage, and she feels cleaner than she did before. After feeling so vulnerable in the tub, what with Ryuuzaki’s unexpected company and their conversation about Light, she is finally starting to feel her usual bubbly confidence slip back into her body. _I am Misa Amane_ , she tells herself. _I can do this for Light_.

Once she is fully dry, she wraps the towel around herself once more and steps lightly into the adjoining bedroom where Ryuuzaki is spread out atop the bedspread completely nude staring at the ceiling, each limb pointing toward each respective corner of the bed. His eyes flick down to hers at her entry.

“I was thinking Misa could be on top,” he states without preamble.

Misa looks dubiously at the man spread like a starfish on the mattress.

“Why? Light was on top when we did it before.”

The detective pushes himself up so he is leaning on his elbows, regarding her more fully.

“I’m sure he was,” he says lightly. “But you are going to have control here.”

The blonde wrinkles her delicate nose. “But I want to be better for Light—”

“And you will be,” he assures her off-handedly, pushing himself up further out of sunbathing position so he is sitting on the bed. “Is Misa ready to begin?”

“Uh… yeah,” she responds. Misa gingerly removes her towel and turns to hang it on the hook nearest to her. She spins back toward the man sitting on the bed and stops to study the man in front of her. He is all awkward limbs and sharp edges, it seems. He really is as skinny as she thought—how he manages to stay that way is beyond her with his diet being what it is. _Using your brain burns calories, my ass_ , she thinks with an internal eye roll. Her eyes wandered up his legs where they sat folded in front of him to his naked pelvis.

Misa had never seen a man naked in real-life besides Light a few nights before, and she did not get a very good look then. The blonde walks forwardly curiously, distractedly, eyes trained on his bare crotch. His _thing_ looks like a really thick, flesh-colored worm that rests on the bedspread, with its two… _friends_ nestled behind it. There’s a lot of dark hair around it all, too. It isn’t erect, she notes. Does she take offense to that? It’s just… sitting there.

This is so underwhelming.

“Does Misa wish to take a closer look?”

She begins to blush, embarrassment tingling high on her cheekbones, but when she looks up at Ryuuzaki’s face, she sees no trace of humor. His eyes are trained on hers, looking quite earnest.

“Very funny, Ryuuzaki.”

He shakes his head. “You misunderstand me. That was not a line,” his eyes roll up to the ceiling. “Rather, it was a reassurance. You are welcome to explore what you wish.” They roll back down to make direct eye contact with her once more. “We are doing this for _you,_ Misa.”

Misa, still feeling quite uncomfortable with this whole thing, shakes her head, the blush not going down just yet. “No, let’s just get this over with,” she mumbles as she climbs on the bed next to the dark-haired man.

Ryuuzaki rearranges them so Misa is laying on her back, her head cushioned by cool, soft pillows. The strange man crouches at the foot of the bed, hands resting on the tops of her feet.

“I am going to perform oral sex on Misa, now,” he tells her clinically. “I assume Light did not service you this way?”

The blonde shakes her head, fine hair rustling against fabric. She had never considered this taking place. She and Ryuuzaki had _no_ sexual chemistry whatsoever, unlike she and Light. And, after she had confronted him about doing this whole thing with her, she never entertained the thought of anything more than just penetration occurring. She is here to _learn,_ dammit.

Frankly, she does not know what to expect.

Ryuuzaki and his cherry stems flashed through her mind.

She _really_ does not know what to expect.

The man seems so asexual, even now when he is naked and about to do things involving her nethers and his mouth and he is pulling her legs open wait _oh my god—_

“Ryuuzaki, wait, wait, wait,” she gasps, hands flailing forward to grab onto him and missing completely. His hands stop immediately.

“What is it?”

Misa stares at him for a second, her hands frozen in the air. A look of shocked worry flickered across his face momentarily. Only white noise fills Misa’s mind as she stares into his black-rimmed sleep-deprived eyes. It takes her several moments before she realizes her heart is _racing._ Her wide-eyed panic-stricken gaze is met with a confident, concerned one. His hands are steady atop her feet.

He simply waits.

Slowly, she feels the tension that clenched her abdomen begin to unravel. She lowers her hands to the bedspread. Misa takes several deep breaths and then regards him once more.

She nods to him, ultimately giving him the go-ahead.

Ryuuzaki continues, pulling her ankles apart and scooting forward so he is huddled between her thighs. She placed her hands on his shoulders and keeps them there, just in case. An emergency escape.

Misa thought this would be easier to live through if she couldn’t actually _see_ what was happening, so she closes her eyes and waits for something to happen.

His hands disappeared from her feet. There was silence—no talking, no touching, nothing. She could feel herself start to curl inwards protectively, anticipatingly. She nearly jumps when his hands reappear at the inside of each of her thighs, smoothing upwards like he did in the bath.

Okay, alright, okay. This is familiar.

She can feel his warm breath puffing against her parts, waiting for several moments. A warning, perhaps? Then, she feels the barest hint of a tongue smoothing between her folds, hands firmly nestled in the creases of her thighs.

That… _oh._ That’s new for Misa.

He does it again, a little bit deeper this time. His tongue is so warm, so moist, making its journey between her labia smoother.

Once more, he licks up her folds, only his tongue is now making contact with the base of her crease, smoothing over her hole and deftly avoiding her clit. His tongue wriggles further, the tip playing at her entrance. He licks again, and then again, and again. Her fingertips start to dig into his shoulders—she doesn’t know what to _do._ This is all so new, she doesn’t, she can’t—oh _god—_

Misa feels his tongue glide upwards, lightly rubbing against her sensitive nub, heavy saliva smoothing his movements, massaging her inner folds with the sides of his tongue as he goes. He, he just—she’s never—

He keeps going, unyielding for several minutes. He is very meticulous in his exploration of her, simply allowing his tactful tongue to slip and slither between her most tender parts. Everything feels puffy and swollen and _wet._

The blonde feels Ryuuzaki’s hands round over her thighs, thumbs carefully pulling apart her vulva, creating more space for his devilish tongue. Under her hands, she can feel his neck muscles shift under his skin with his efforts. Finally, _finally,_ Misa feels okay enough to open her eyes and _he is staring right up at her._

She startles slightly at the revelation. _He is so fucking weird_ , she thinks vehemently. His stare is not blank, no. It is not like the stare he leveled her when he was eating strawberries, or when he was massaging her calves. No, there is _heat_ in this stare. There is something palpable in his eyes. Something electric.

She closes her eyes again. _One step at a time._

Misa is reminded that she _should_ be taking notes. This is supposed to be a learning experience and he is fucking confusing her with his ridiculous eyes.

It is time the model steps back to assess the situation.

So, he is, um. He— _ah, God yes Ryuuzaki—_ is doing some sort of… swirling thing? With his tongue, she thinks. Noted. And, and he is rubbing his thumbs up and down her folds. His hands are firm, yes, they’re firm and confident and pressing her into the mattress a little. Noted. He is weirdly, so fucking weirdly sexy right now and she can’t even _see_ the bastard. Noted. God, how does _that_ help her? She won’t be doing this with— _ooh, oh so wet_ —

She gasps as she feels his tongue slip inside of her, penetrating her, Ryuuzaki is penetrating her with his fucking _tongue_ and _Light never fucking did this_. She feels him wriggle inside a little bit, trying to get deeper, she can hear him inhale deeply against her pelvis because it makes a sharp whistling sound. Okay—noted. He whistle-breathes when his mouth is occupied or whatever— _fuck._

Misa’s breathing stutters as he slips his tongue out to do that swirling thing she noted earlier, yes, this is good information, she is _learning_. She can feel his hot, hot breath gust against her skin and for some reason, that reminds her _once again_ that this is Ryuuzaki doing these things to her and she is taking fucking _notes_ on _whatever this is_ _oh my **god**_ —

Things are wet, so wet down there. Noted—things get wet, perfectly valuable information. In fact, she can feel how damp the sheets are beneath her bottom and the sheets only got wet with Light when he was finished. This is happening before that though—it feels so slippery and squishy and. _Good_.

A surprised squeak slips from Misa’s throat as Ryuuzaki’s fingers find their way to her entrance as his tongue was otherwise occupied. They feel already moist and she doesn’t know how they got that way but it’s okay because two fingers are pushing into her, pressing slowly. Firmly. Insistently.

The blonde was expecting… pain. Yes, she was expecting pain. This is not pain.

Noted.

The fingers stretch her, but it’s not— _oh god,_ it’s not _bad_ stretching. It’s… it’s elastic stretching. Like her body was anticipating this. Like her body _wants_ this.

She feels him curl his fingers up, wiggling a bit inside of her. An unexpected moan cracks from Misa’s throat as he gently massages her the roof of her vagina. A small wet clicking sound is distinct in the room.

He— _oh, oh God—_ he just _keeps going_. Relentlessly pressing his fingers, a small in-out motion accompanying the strange sensation. His tongue is back—she didn’t even realize it left—and is wetly rubbing along her tender little spot. His left hand is splayed flat on her lower tummy. _Holding her down_ , she realizes with a start. She needs to be held down?

Suddenly, she realizes that her body is gyrating against his face, writhing against the soft, down comforter beneath her. Embarrassment floods through her, muted by the insane arousal coursing through her blood. She hadn’t realized she was reacting so physically. She didn’t know— _fuck, Ryuuzaki, fuck fuck fuck._

“You’re so _responsive_ ,” he worships, words tumbling out on his exhale against her heat. “How can Light… not—” he breaks off with a small frustrated noise, his hands leaving her completely to wrap around her thighs and pull her up against his face, and then his hands are on her again. She lets out a loud moan as he tucks his fingers into her once more, using his other hand to pinch her clit lightly between two fingers, licking around them wetly.

Vaguely, a sensation of building to something starts happening. She doesn’t know what she is building to. Behind her eyelids, she imagines a perfectly round stone rolling uphill of its own volition, a visual representation of this growing sensation. _Noted._ A thing to keep her mind distracted as she currently feels she is going utterly _mad_.

She frantically opens her eyes. His eyes are closed this time; his brow is furrowed, a small wrinkle between his nonexistent brows. His hair looks like a complete mess, when did it get like that? It stuck up in stranger places than usual and his face and forehead are more exposed this way and he is so strangely _endearing_ that she can feel her heart swell underneath the heady lust that clouds her mind. _Noted._ “Ryu—Ryuuzaki, I feel like—there’s this feeling of—"

His eyes flick open and they—oh, they’re so _dark_. His movements slow but do not stop. He hums against her. Misa jerks in response to the new sensation of vibration, a little grunt sounding from the depths of her throat. His tongue continues to slow, his fingers less insistent now, and that’s not, that’s not. She wants _more_ and he’s _not_.

“No, no, nononono _keep going_ Ryuuzaki,” she breathes. “I don’t know what—”

Immediately, they resume, picking up their previous pace, urgency amplifying her arousal and this growing sensation. The stone continues to roll up the hill and it’s getting faster, faster now. She feels so wet, she can see there are fluids on Ryuuzaki’s face, way up on his cheekbones, shining in the warm glow of his bedroom and _oh god_ _there it is, ah, ah, **there**_. She doesn’t even fucking know what _it_ is, but it’s _there._ His breath is hot against her, the wet clicking sounds from his fingers get faster, Misa begins to shake, thighs clenching together tightly around his head.

In her mind’s eye, the rock is now oval-like, thudding heavily up the hill, advancing with thundering rolls that get it closer to the peak, closer still—

And then everything stops.

Completely.

The cruel, _cruel_ man wrenches his face backward, disentangling himself from her thighs that were previously squeezing around his head, extricating her hands from his thick, dark hair that she did not even realize she was gripping onto. Misa lets out a loud, frustrated moan, rough from how dry her throat is. He is panting heavily, body heaving with the force of his breaths. His pupils are completely dilated, irises reduced to tiny slivers, and he looks… _absolutely ravishing._

Noted.

Her eyes are caught by his cock, swollen pink at the tip and standing erect from his dark hair. The tip is thick and shiny and there is something dripping from it, stringing thinly like a spider’s web to the comforter. It’s— _wow,_ it’s more substantial than Light’s is. It’s bigger than his fingers, too. It looks so. It’s just. She is overcome with the urge to handle it, she wants to touch it and feel it and w _ow, why did he stop? Why is he like this?_

“Because,” he pants and Misa realizes she said that last part out loud. “Because,” He pants again, trying to catch his breath. While he breathes or whatever, Misa reaches down to touch herself curiously. She is surprised at just how wet she has become. Her fingers slip, and they come away shining wet with a clear, viscous fluid, a mixture of herself and Ryuuzaki’s saliva. She looks up and the detective is watching her intently, eyes fixated. Misa glances back down and inspects her fingers more closely, pinching her slender index finger and thumb together, watching as a line is drawn between the two fingers. Then, Misa unceremoniously wipes her fingers on the comforter and sits up, confronting the man who tormented her so.

“What the hell, Ryuuzaki? I was just about to—”

“I know Misa,” he says, sounding surprisingly combative. Agitated. He shoots her a look. “I know what you were about to do. I got a little carried away.”

She notices his hands are trembling.

They fall quiet for a few moments, breathing being the only sounds in the room.

“Okay, now what?”

Wordlessly, Ryuuzaki rolls off the bed and stands, walking over to the nightstand, erection bobbing heavily in the air with each step. He bends over the nightstand, back curling sickly as he roots through the open drawer.

Misa’s parts are throbbing, warm, and slippery wet. It’s uncomfortable sitting in this modified fetal position as clenching her thighs together makes her too aware of the state she is in, so she extends her legs straight on the bedspread. She stares at her knees. “So, you want me on top?” Misa asks her legs.

She hears him hum his assent around what appears to be a condom packet in his mouth after a cursory glance up. He continues to ruffle through the items in the drawer. Her eyes drop back down to her knees.

“I wasn’t on top with Light,” she tells him.

“I know,” he replies, muffled by the condom packet. “We’ve already been over this.” She hears the drawer snap shut and feels the bed dip under his weight. He grips her chin lightly and drags her eyes up to face his own. “You need to be in control tonight.” His normally soft monotone sounded coarse, like the grit of gravel lodged in car tires.

She watches as his eyes flick down to her lips. His tongue darts out to wet his own. Suddenly, he ducks his head down to steal a kiss, but instead the blonde pulls her face away. “Nope!” She yelps, batting his hand away from her chin. “No, only Light gets to kiss me, Ryuuzaki. I’m not _cheating_ on him. You’re only teaching me how to do this stuff, remember?”

He doesn’t respond right away, so she warily looks back at his face.

He looks, in a word, unamused.

“Light-kun is a lucky man,” he tells her flatly, sarcastically, as he grips the condom packet with two careful fingers, tearing it open meticulously. “To have such a devoted girlfriend.”

Misa feels too out of sorts to properly reply to that, so she does not. With his head still facing downwards toward the packet, only his eyes move up, looking at Misa from under his wild fringe of hair.

“Misa, get up on your knees,” he says, suddenly demanding. Misa pauses for a moment before complying, kneeling on the mattress awkwardly, her eyes catching on an embarrassing wet spot left behind on the comforter. He lays down exactly where she was three seconds ago, right over the wet spot. He either doesn’t seem to notice or mind.

Looking down, he pinches the tip of the condom and rolls the condom slowly down his cock, foreskin folding underneath. For some reason, _this_ feels so intimate. When she watched Light do this, it was dark so she could not quite see what was happening, and it happened so fast that she hardly registered he put one on in the first place. To Misa, this feels more real. She feels more involved, more present.

Noted.

“Misa, now you come up here and—yes, like that,” he praises as she crawls up his body. She carefully places one knee on either side of his hips, straddling the man, and he places his member directly at her entrance, but goes no further than that.

“Misa, I want to be very clear here,” he pronounces. “You need to tell me if something is wrong, or if you feel pain. Remember, you have control here—there is no need for you to hurt,” he tells her. “I will do my best to keep track of how you are doing.”

The blonde nods in response, but the detective shakes his head. “No, I want to hear you say it. Are you going to be communicative with me, Misa?”

Misa rolls her eyes exasperatedly. “ _Yes,_ yes I will Ryuuzaki! Just get on with it!”

Satisfied, the raven-haired man reaches over to grab a small tube of lubricant that she hadn’t noticed before. He squeezes a tiny dollop and slicks his erection before placing it right at her hole once more.

“Okay, alright, we’re going to do this slow,” he reassures. “I’m going to hold it here and you’re going to- yes, yes, like that Misa, good,” he breathes as Misa inches her way down. “Easy, _easy_.” Ryuuzaki’s eyes are wide open, studying her body. The blonde pauses in her descent, trembling slightly. He is about halfway inside of her.

“Okay?”

The blonde is breathing heavily, overcome with sensation. She braces her palms on his chest for support, unable to stay upright. This is so much, he is so _much._ Misa feels stretched, filled, and he isn’t even all the way _in_ and _oh my god what am I going to do._

Misa grimaces slightly, suddenly reminded of her night with Light, his intrusion rubbing against her healing wounds. She—oh, _oh—_ he is too. This is too.

Pausing, breathing, shaking, Misa relaxes her face. She is going for _slack with pleasure_ and not _overwhelmed and pained._ Determined, Misa sinks down more, _more._ She sees Ryuuzaki’s eyes flutter for only a second, a microsecond, a picosecond, but it makes strange pride swell in her chest. The unaffected man is affected by _her_ and _that_ is almost _intoxicating_.

Ah, but he isn’t even all the way inside yet.

Misa isn’t sure she can do this.

She sinks down another inch when suddenly she feels a special sort of pain—a pain she felt with Light a _lot_. A sharp internal pain right below her belly button. It feels as if someone knocked the wind out of her in a small, concentrated area. It is pushing the air out of her chest, triggering a dull nausea. He is too deep, too deep and this isn’t, she can’t, she can’t do this again—

“Misa, Misa look at me,” he demands, interrupting her internal panic, hands coming up to grip the sides of her waist. His palms are warm.

The blonde’s thighs are trembling against his hips, and she meets Ryuuzaki’s stern gaze with her own shaky one. “Are you okay? Is this too much?”

Misa blows out a harsh breath and, after a moment’s hesitation, nods. “I’m- I’m so sorry Ryuuzaki—”

Promptly, his hands drop to her hips and she feels him start to withdraw. Misa slumps forward. She has _ruined this_. This whole thing she set up for Light, for _her Light_ , and she can’t even do it. Misa can’t put up with a little bit of discomfort. She is the worst girlfriend in the world and Light deserves more. Better. She put up with the pain for Light before and he _seemed_ to enjoy it just fine, she should just do it again for Ryuuzaki. This isn’t about _her_ , it’s about _Light._ Misa should just tell Ryuuzaki that she’s fine—

“We are going to modify this, okay?”

Misa’s thoughts come to a screeching halt.

 _What_?

“I’m going to sit against the headboard, and we will try again. I will not get quite as deep in that position, and you can still be in control,” he reasons. “Does that sound reasonable to Misa?”

Suddenly, Misa feels stupidly choked up, emotion a hard rock in her throat. She only nods in response, looking at his abdomen.

The man withdraws completely, lifting Misa slightly by her waist, and then in one movement, scoots backwards smoothly so he is flush with the ornate wooden headboard. He beckons her forward with his fingers.

“Come, Misa. We’re trying again,” he repeats. “Is everything okay? Do you still want to continue?”

The blonde, still reeling from the fact that she _did not_ ruin everything, nods with new enthusiasm. She still does not trust her voice.

“Say it, Misa. Tell me you want to continue.”

“I-I— _yes,_ Ryuuzaki. I want it,” she manages, her voice cracking slightly.

Satisfied, he herds her forward with his hand just above the curve of her ass, resting on her lower back until her soft belly is flush with his firm one. His left hand is stroking what looks to be fresh lubricant onto his cock, holding it upwards for her to mount.

“Okay, just like last time. Go as slow as you need, Misa.”

Yes, okay, yes, he is letting her go her speed. This is good. She can do this. Misa Amane can do this. His cock is right there, he is _right there._ Overwhelmed, Misa begins her slow descent once more.

So far, it feels the same as last time before the pain happened, but Ryuuzaki said it will feel different and she needs to trust that. He’s—he’s, okay, he’s properly inside of her now and there isn’t any pain yet and his breathing doesn’t sound different but that’s okay, that’s okay this is for the sake of education. She just needs to learn how to eventually make him make sounds. Right? Yes, yes, good.

Before Misa is aware of it, she is sitting on his lap, her bare ass against the tops of his pale thighs. As he foretold, when she looked down at where their bodies are joined, there is still an inch or two of him exposed. He is not fully inside of her.

This felt… she felt stretched. Good, but stretched. Filled.

Misa loosely wraps her arms around the man’s neck and experimentally rocks her hips forward, still watching where his body enters hers. She slowly, _slowly_ continues, merely appreciating the repetitive slipping in-out, in-out movement.

Several minutes pass this way, with the blonde languidly rolling her hips atop the man while Misa watches him enter her, over and over, hypnotized. The sliding motion feels easier now, wetter—the blonde can feel her body reacting to this as she adjusts to his intrusion. The sounds of their breathing and of the condom thinly folding with each movement are the only things her ears can pick up.

Suddenly, she feels Ryuuzaki’s cold, spindly hand cup her right breast in one lazy palm, thumb rubbing slowly over the nipple. She looks up at the man for the first time in what feels like an hour and watches as he brings his thumb to his lips, tongue darting out to wet it, and then placing it back on her breast, thumb sliding easily over her tender bud. His eyes are hooded, languorously watching hers. There is something else there, though—something in his eyes that is positively rapt. Captivated. Lurking in the swirling laziness of his obsidian orbs.

Misa gasps at the sensation, hips jerking forward. She grips his wrist tightly with one hand, fingernails digging in a little. “Ryuuzaki, that—” she gasps as he swipes his thumb once more. “That feels— _mmmm,_ ” she finishes eloquently. Misa’s eyes roll slightly as he massages her supple skin, circling the sensitive spot.

Alright, noted. This is _real_ education. Maybe Light’s nipples are sensitive too? She wonders if he has ever experimented with this. She knows that _she_ hasn’t, but that does not mean Light hasn’t either. Perhaps he—

A surprised yap leaps from the blonde’s throat as she suddenly feels a moist thumb press to her clit, a gentle pressure. He does not move or circle his thumb whatsoever. Misa drops her eyes down to the joining of their bodies and watches his fingers curl around her left hip while his thumb is held over her little pink button.

“Hah—hnnn, yes, Ryu— _uzaki—”_ She sounds out as the man lifts his hips a bit to meet hers.

“Do you want a little more, Misa?” The detective’s voice sounds… restrained. Like he is holding back something. She looks up at his face and he has these _gorgeous_ pink spots dancing high across his cheekbones and his eyes are alive behind his indolent expression, watching as Misa unfolds before him. His mouth is open and slack and his eyelashes.

His _eyelashes_.

Okay, yes, noted. Very important.

“We can go a little faster, or—” he cuts off, choking a little with a particularly aggressive roll of Misa’s hips. “Or harder?” He finishes, not without difficulty.

Misa is already nodding, finally feeling how fully swollen she is down there. He is sliding easily inside and out, a sodden squishing sound with each thrust. Misa picks up the pace, bouncing up and down in earnest atop Ryuuzaki’s lap, his hand moving with her, following her every move so she is not without clitoral stimulation.

She wraps her arms around Ryuuzaki’s neck much tighter than before, hugging him to her, bringing their bodies closer together _yes please God yes_. With his mouth so close to her ear, she can hear him humming, a low growl sounding from deep in his throat. He is trying to keep quiet. He is trying to make this about Misa.

But Misa can hear him. She wanted him to make sounds and he is making sounds. His little groans are because of her body and what she is doing to him and _her._ His sounds are because of _Misa._ The thought makes her body twitch, squeezing around the spike of flesh that is seated inside of her.

The detective’s breath catches in response, knocking his head back against the headboard. Misa follows him, leaning forward more. This angle is a little awkward but it’s still, still so good _god Ryuuzaki._

That building sensation has returned. She can feel it approaching much faster than last time. Misa is frantic now, grinding hard against his body. She doesn’t even know if she is properly riding him anymore. She is humping him desperately, overwhelmed with pleasure. More than anything, the blonde is thrusting against his thumb, furiously seeking for more contact, more pressure, more, more, more. She is so wet, everything is slippery. She does not feel stretched anymore. In fact, she is clenching down on him for more contact like that _yes, yes like that_.

As she is working her hips in a frenzy against his pelvis and hand, she hears a small English “ _fuck”_ drop from his lips, almost as an afterthought. The lost, distracted quality of his voice shoots delicious arousal down her spine, goosebumps erupting on her legs. Hearing the man so _affected_ makes Misa feel so fucking _impatient_ because she just _wants_. She squeezes around him _hard_ , and his responding grunt bounces around in her skull.

“Ryuuzaki, I’m close,” Misa grunts. “I don’t—I don’t, _oh_ fuck Ryuuzaki what—”

“It’s okay,” he pants, interrupting her. “Misa it’s okay, everything is okay, just let go, just let—”

A high-pitched whine emanates from her throat as she urgently clings to his neck, needing more friction, relishing the feeling of his cock plunging wetly in and out of her, skin slapping with each thrust. His thumb feels so moist, so drenched in her arousal, it slips against her easily. She, she just—it’s, _god._ Misa can’t fucking _take it anymore._

An image of that stone, that goddamned stone, flashes through her mind again. It is already at the top of the hill. She missed its slow journey to the peak. It is already there, that oval-shaped stone about to tip over the narrow peak of the hill. Cramps are forming in Misa’s thighs where they’re clenched around the man’s narrow hips but she doesn’t care, she just keeps going, keeps going so much that she eventually stops thrusting and gives into the hard twitches seizing her body in Ryuuzaki’s lap, mind filled with a static snow as that rock starts to tumble down the other side of the steep hill and, and _oh my fucking God yes—_

Misa clenches her eyes shut as long, squeezing thrusts rip through her body. His deceivingly strong arms wrap around her waist as white-hot pleasure erupts in her from the depths of her being. Misa clenches bodily atop Ryuuzaki, curling into him, moaning loudly, brokenly, into the skin of his shoulder, gripping his neck in the iron vice of her arms. She vaguely registers him grunting against her neck, his arousal throbbing _hard_ inside of her in response to her pulsating around him, his arms firm to keep her on his lap through her orgasm.

Her ears are ringing, the sound of their breathing far away and dull. Color trickles back into the world once more, and slowly, Misa’s frazzled mind starts to come back to her. For several moments, she just sits there, focusing on her breathing, enjoying the feeling of the man buried as deep inside her as he can get in this position. She has _never_ experienced that before. Not with Light, not by herself, nothing. She feels a little like she did after her first photoshoot. Exhilarated. Worn. The light-headedness and tingling sensation in her toes make her stupidly giddy as her body loosens against Ryuuzaki’s.

The blonde feels her heart swell at the prospect of feeling this way with Light.

She can’t _wait_ to have sex with him. Properly, this time.

After gathering her wits, Misa pulls her torso away from the detective’s, the thin layer of sweat between the two of them that she hadn’t noticed before starting to drip down her abdomen. She shifts her hips slightly, feeling the man’s still-erect member rub against her sensitive walls. Without preamble, she lifts her body, quickly maneuvering herself off the man and the bed altogether. There is an almost imperceptible twitch in his face as his hard cock slaps against his lower belly, still shining in her fluids. Misa turns and begins looking for the clothes she discarded before the bath. She walks into the adjoining bathroom.

“How does Misa feel?” She hears him ask from the bed after several beats of silence. His clinically jaunty tone is back, though his voice sounds like it has been dragged through gravel.

“I’m fine, Ryuuzaki,” she tells him as her panties snap against her hip.

“Does Misa feel ready to navigate the bedroom with Light-kun?” He asks.

The model sighs delicately, pulling her lacy black bra over her shoulders. “Yes, Ryuuzaki.”

There is silence for a few more beats from the bed as she hastily dresses. She is sliding her knee socks up her calves when his quiet voice breaks the silence.

“And what did Misa learn tonight?”

Sensory images flick through her mind immediately— _mussed hair, black eyes, smooth thumbs, eyelashes, eyelashes_.

She shakes her head and walks back into the bedroom to address the frustrating man. He is casually leaning against the headboard still, though he has since removed the condom and is leisurely stroking his engorged cock, rolling his foreskin absentmindedly up and down with his thumb and forefinger. His toes are flexing towards the ceiling. Misa is eyeing his actions as she speaks, distractedly. “I… learned that Light might like nipple play,” she mutters.

“Oh?” If he had more inflection to his voice, one could almost call it a taunt. “And why is that?”

Misa drags her eyes up to meet his. “Because it, um.” She stops, feeling vulnerable, and looks down to her fingernails that are coated in chipping black nail polish. “Because I liked it.”

He does not respond, so she looks back up to him. His thumb is rubbing lazily over the wettish tip of his penis and it is _so_ distracting. Isn’t this rude of him? This is rude, Misa is quite sure. His eyes are hooded slightly as he asks his next question. “What else did Misa learn?”

Suddenly, Misa is feeling quite flustered and her stomach flips and the room feels hot. This is weird—this is _really_ weird—and she needs to get out of here. “Ryuuzaki, can we talk about this later? Or never?”

He shrugs. “If that is what Misa prefers.”

Right. Okay. Time to go.

Misa glances around the room, shoes in hand, making sure she is not missing anything. She starts to back toward the door, taking a breath. Everything is normal. Everything is fine. “Okay then, Ryuuzaki!” She chirps, feigning her usual bubbliness. “Thanks for the fun night!”

Her ears pick up a small, “Goodnight Misa,” as she keeps her eyes down, carefully avoiding eye contact, quickly slipping out the door.

Misa can already feel the shame settle in her body and regret clench her chest. Emotion lodges itself in her throat as she makes her way down the hallway from Ryuuzaki’s bedroom.

_‘Light-kun is a lucky man to have such a devoted girlfriend.’_

She did not cheat. This was for purely educational reasons. She went into this knowing what she was going to do, and she did it all for the love of her life. Ryuuzaki is completely correct—Misa _is_ a devoted girlfriend. The best there is, she is sure. Misa is positive if she were to _rationally_ explain the situation to Light that he would understand her intentions. If Ryuuzaki can understand, surely Light could as well, no?

She got what she went to Ryuuzaki for. _There is no need to feel bad about this_ , Misa reasons. _You went there to learn for Light and that is exactly what happened._

But.

**_God._ **

Misa feels downright treacherous.

Warring with herself, she picks up her pace and not-quite runs to the elevator, pressing the button to her floor repeatedly as if it would speed up the journey. Once she makes it to her floor and through the door of her bedroom, she envisions fond dark eyes and angry caramel ones as tears begin forming in her own.


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the second and final chapter! warning for v mild violence.
> 
> enjoy!

Misa sits on the couch in her room, legs crossed at the knee, staring at a fashion magazine spread across her lap. She is aware of herself being watched by the taskforce at the moment, but she is not paying it any attention. Frankly, she has too many things on her mind to care. She continues to stare at the brightly-colored pages, not quite seeing any of it, words and outfits blurring together so it creates one morphing mess of color.

It has been four days since Misa had sex with Ryuuzaki.

Her thighs no longer ache from exertion. She has showered at least once every day since then. Misa hasn’t talked to the man since that night. She hasn’t even left her floor since that night.

If she squints her eyes and doesn’t think at all, Misa might be able to pretend that she never had sex with him in the first place.

The blonde spent _hours_ picking apart the detective’s bizarre appearance and mannerisms. How no one in their right mind could find the man attractive. His extreme hunch and spindly fingers and paper-thin skin and tangled black hair and ill-fitting clothes—on paper, the man _repulsed_ her. The detective is the polar opposite of Light, the most handsome man she knows. In pieces, Ryuuzaki is an ugly, selfish, incomprehensible thing.

His pieces together, however.

Together, he is the man she experienced four days ago.

Misa truly tried to see reason here. She has strained to convince herself otherwise.

But as much as Misa loathed to admit it, she cannot ignore the fact that maybe the model enjoyed it. More than enjoyed it.

Maybe she wouldn’t mind doing it again with Ryuuzaki.

 _Maybe_ she _wants_ to do it again with Ryuuzaki.

And here lies the problem that Misa is faced with.

Misa has not yet sought out Light to try the things she learned with him. The guilt has been eating her alive, gnawing at her consciousness, taking up every thought she has. As soon as she finds a suitable distraction, these pervasive thoughts fling back to the forefront of her mind.

She can’t get the damn man out of her head. She wants nothing more than to be with Light and have a fabulous sexual relationship and be _happy,_ but.

But Ryuuzaki.

Misa feels blindsided by this whole thing.

Perhaps what Misa needs is time alone with Light.

She did go to Ryuuzaki to _learn,_ after all. Why shouldn’t she put those lessons to good use?

Misa flips a lock of her hair over her shoulder, sighing frustratedly at the magazine in her lap.

If he is happy with her performance in bed, this guilt will be worth it. She cannot wait to see the satisfied grin on his face as he collapses to the bed, exhausted and _happy_. Misa will rock his fucking world.

The model looks up from her magazine, staring at the wall across from her. Resolutely, she snaps the publication shut and sets it beside her on the couch, her resolve making her feel more confident than she is.

Misa is going to find Light, and she is going to show him what she is made of.

≠

The model’s furious clicks announce her appearance before she emerges in the room, burning with rage all the way from Light’s floor.

“Ryuuzaki!” Misa whisper-shouts across the room, impatient to get to the man. The taps of her heels echo on the tile of the empty investigation headquarters.

The man hunched in his executive chair does not turn from the computer monitors. “Yes?” He asks, voice bored and slightly muffled by what she assumes is his thumb.

Misa finally reaches the detective, spinning his chair so he faces her. His hand drops from his mouth so both hands rest atop his knees.

“It didn’t work.”

“What didn’t work?”

“You know what didn’t work,” Misa snaps, arms weaving across her chest.

“I’m afraid I haven’t the slightest clue.”

“Your _lessons_ didn’t work, Ryuuzaki!” She hisses at him.

“Ah, I see,” he says lightly, not sounding surprised in the least. He places an index finger on his lips. “This is quite a predicament for Misa Misa. What will she do?”

Frustration wells up in Misa’s chest.

“Do you think this is a game, Ryuuzaki? Be serious!”

“I am quite serious. It is imperative that Misa’s sex life with Light-kun is most fulfilling.” He speaks as if he is discussing the weather, _god._ The model can feel her face start to burn, tingling with embarrassment.

“You know what I think? I think your lessons were—lacking,” Misa asserts defensively.

Something challenging shifts in his eyes, and he maintains direct eye contact.

“Is that so?”

She stubbornly returns his stare, glaring defiantly. “Yes.”

The man’s penetrating eyes do not move a millimeter.

“And what does Misa claim they were lacking?”

The burning in her cheeks intensifies. “You didn’t even show me how—how to…” In lieu of explaining, Misa pantomimes jerking off, waving her fist in the air. A ghost of a smirk appears on Ryuuzaki’s face.

“Well, I felt that one was simple enough to figure out.”

“Ryuuzaki!” She shrieks, quieting on the last syllable to keep her voice low. “That’s not what I meant! I meant—” Misa stops, taking a breath. “I meant… _things in general_ focusing on Light _,_ you stupid man.”

He doesn’t reply, he merely continues to stare at her. Seconds tick past as she stands there, glaring at the detective. Impatient, she prompts, “Well?”

Ryuuzaki’s charcoal eyes roll to the ceiling. “Misa wants to learn how to give head.”

The blonde feels it is better to answer with silence.

“I’m afraid Misa overestimates my knowledge on such things,” he drones at the ceiling.

Misa blinks. “What?”

His eyes drop back to hers. “I do not think I will be able to help Misa with this.”

“I know _you’ve_ never done it to a man before, Ryuuzaki, but all you have to do is…” She trails off after his expression shifts.

“Misa should learn not to be so presumptuous,” he scolds mildly.

Several seconds pass before it clicks in Misa’s brain. “Wait, you’ve sucked dick before?” Her voice is probably too loud.

His silent deadpan is answer enough for Misa.

“Does that mean you’re, like, bisexual or whatever?”

“Labels are not important,” he waves off with his hand. “What is important is that you understand sex is not merely technique. Sex thrives with communication.”

Misa does not reply right away. “Wait, but… you’re bisexual! Or pansexual?” The model asks.

“I shouldn’t think my sexual orientation is anything of importance to Misa,” he says, warning giving an edge to his words. “No matter the gender of the person you are with, oral sex is specific to the individual.”

Misa has the decency to be a little sheepish. “Sorry Ryuuzaki, I meant… doesn’t that mean you are even _more_ qualified to teach me?” She reasons. “You can show me your moves!”

“ _Communication_ is what makes a decent blowjob, Misa.” He seems unphased by his own crassness. “You must pay attention—not _all_ communication is verbal.”

His tactless phrasing brings Misa out of her thoughts. “All you have to do is tell me what feels good, Ryuuzaki,” she deadpans. “It’s not rocket science.”

“Ah, but Misa misunderstands me,” he laments, hands resting on his knees. “If I agree to do this with Misa, she will only learn how to please _me_ , not Light-kun.”

Misa sputters at his bluntness. “That-that’s not true! I’ve… I’ve never—” she stops herself again. _Breathe_. She drops her eyes to the tile beneath her feet. “I’ve never done it before,” she mutters at the floor. “To anyone.”

She doesn’t receive a response right away. In her field of vision, she can see Ryuuzaki’s feet come into view one at a time as he drops them to the floor. Misa lifts her head to see the man sitting like a normal human being.

“Perhaps it would be beneficial for Misa to experience someone other than Light-kun,” he reasons, mostly to himself. His eyes are far away in thought, unfocused.

Misa stays silent. Something about the change in his position affects her. His body is so _long_ , she has never seen him in such a reclined sitting position before. Ryuuzaki’s voice sounds warmer, his posture is more open, and she feels the room heat.

His eyes refocus on hers. Despite his relaxed position, his eyes look _alive_. Bright. They fixate on her and suddenly she cannot move, enraptured by his gaze alone. Paralyzed. Misa is only vaguely aware of the terrified expression on her face.

They stare at one another for several seconds, neither blinking nor breathing. Well, at least Misa’s not breathing.

“Misa?”

A voice the model hadn’t been expecting breaks the tension that had formed between them. Misa startles, jumping backward, immediately feeling guilty and caught. Light is standing in the entryway, confused.

Misa forces a bright laugh. “Light! Oh, there you are! I was looking everywhere for you!” She sounds breathless _oh god_ Misa needs to get herself together.

Light’s eyes shift between them, suspicion narrowing his eyes. “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing!” She chirps, probably too quickly. “Ryuuzaki was just helping me find you, that’s all!” She skips over to Light, embracing his arm and clutching it to her chest once she is by his side.

“I was in my room.” The suspicion is beginning to seep into his voice now.

“You must have been in the bathroom when I checked, silly!” She giggles. “Let’s get out of here, Ryuuzaki is weirding me out.”

Light doesn’t move. “Ryuuzaki?”

When Misa looks back at the strange man, she sees that he had apparently resumed his crouch when Light came in as he is in his usual hunch on the chair. “Yes?”

The brunet’s eyes narrow further for a second before his expression clears. “Never mind,” he laughs. Misa knows his fake laugh anywhere. “You are pretty weird, Ryuuzaki.”

The man hums. “So I’ve been told.”

Impatient with this scene, Misa tugs on Light’s arm, turning them so they can walk out the entryway. “Let’s go, Light.”

He follows her now, bidding goodnight to Ryuuzaki.

“Goodnight, Light-kun. Goodnight, Misa,” the detective says in his usual monotone.

The blonde spares one glance backward at Ryuuzaki as they make their way out the door. His face is unreadable as his eyes follow Misa out of the room.

≠

The next time Misa finds Ryuuzaki two days later, he is sitting alone in Watari’s study. The room is lavish and elegant, just like the rest of Ryuuzaki’s surroundings, and warm with dancing flames licking from the fireplace. The detective is sat on a large, ornate sofa, laptop resting on the cushion beside him with a plate of creamy strawberry cake in his hands. He glances up at her as she peers around the corner of the room.

“Ah, is Misa here to yell at me again?” He asks.

She steps out from behind the wall and smiles brightly. “Nope! I’m here for my second lesson.”

He stares at her for a moment before dismissively looking back down to his laptop. “Is that so?”

“Yes,” she confirms, skipping into the room. “Tonight is the _perfect_ night because Light has gone home for a dinner or whatever with his family,” she tells him, pigtails bobbing with her movement. She comes to a full stop in front of the man, placing her hands on her hips. “Are you ready to show me how to do this or what?”

“Cake takes priority.” His voice is muffled around a mouthful of food. Swallowing noisily, he adds, “Misa will have to wait.”

The model’s nose wrinkles delicately as he licks up frosting from the side of his mouth, bits of food stuck to his tongue. “You’re gross.”

He has no response to her, and because Misa is less than keen on watching him eat the way he does, she sits on the floor, back flush with the sofa. Her head lolls back on the cushion behind her.

“Hey, Ryuuzaki? Can I ask you something?”

“You may ask, but you may not get an answer, Misa-san.” She can hear him popping his fingers in and out of his mouth, licking them clean.

The blonde sighs, words a wisp on the exhale. “That’s okay, I was just…” she trails off, looking down at her dress and picking at a loose thread. “Why haven’t I ever seen you with a boyfriend or girlfriend?”

He is quiet for a moment before asking, “What inspired this question?” She feels him shift on the cushion behind her. “Is Misa interested?”

Misa’s incredulous expression is hidden by her position. “God, no!”

“Then why does she want to know?”

“I mean… you’re a total pervert, Ryuuzaki. And you’re so weird looking-“ he snorts, “but you also seem… like, date-able.” Misa spins around to face him. “Like, you know about intimacy, and, and _sex—”_

“Sex is not limited to relationships, Misa.” His eyes roll up to the ceiling, arms wrapped around his knees in his compact hunch. “Sex is a very unique thing for two people to partake in, and for that reason it can be very useful to me.” Pause. “I use sex for a lot of things in my life.”

Misa sits back on her feet which are folded up under her bottom. She watches the way his jagged jet-black hair frames his face. Hesitant curiosity makes her say, “Like, um. Like what do you use it for?”

“Cases,” he tells the ceiling. “It has proven to be valuable in uncovering true motives. Corroboration of evidence, undercover work, and, of course-“ his eyes drop down to hers, something lurking behind his eyes, “pleasure.”

Misa ignores his stupid eyes and pushes forward, wanting an answer to her question. “Well when you use it for _pleasure_ , is it with a boyfriend or a girlfriend?”

Ryuuzaki watches her for a moment before resting his chin on his knees, head tilting to the side. “No,” he tells her. “I have never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend.”

The weight of that sentence settles in the air. Misa is quiet for a few moments, contemplating. Why hasn’t he ever dated? She supposes he _is_ really busy with work and stuff, but still. Misa is shoulder-deep in her modeling career and is _very_ devoted to Light. She guesses not everyone can be as good at relationships as she is. The blonde scoots her body closer to the man.

“Are you done with your cake yet? Let’s do this thing.” Misa reaches for his ankle and, surprisingly, he lets her drag his foot off the cushion and drop it to the floor. He sets the plate aside and levels her with a look.

“I want to reiterate to Misa that _communication_ is what makes oral sex enjoyable.”

“I _got it_ , Ryuuzaki,” she groaned. “Take your pants off!”

He snorts but complies. His jeans and boxer shorts slide easily down his thighs. She pulls them the rest of the way off, so he is sat on this beautiful sofa in nothing but his long-sleeved white shirt. Misa settles on the floor between his knees, perched on her own. She looks up at him.

“So here’s what I’m thinking,” she tells the raven-haired man. “Your… _penis_ ,” these words are getting easier for her to say, “is bigger than Light’s when it’s all hard and stuff. By sort of a lot.” His expression does not change. “I feel like it’s a good idea to practice on someone who is bigger so it’s easier with someone who is smaller. Sort of like when my manager had me practice walking in six-inch heels for a photoshoot, so the four-inch heels they wanted me to wear were easier, you know?”

Ryuuzaki looks to the ceiling briefly, then back down to Misa. He nods once.

Misa looks down at Ryuuzaki’s flaccid penis. It still was quite large even soft. She reaches out to hold it gingerly in one hand. The skin is velvety-smooth, and his foreskin moves easily with her fingers. It has a certain satisfying weight to it. Experimentally, she strokes his skin backwards and watches the head of his penis emerge prominently. She leans forward and brushes the tip against her lips. Then, she rolls his skin forward and does the same thing. It _is_ like a thick worm, she decides. A worm that… does things. To her.

Misa abandons that weird train of thought.

Without warning, she leans forward and wraps her lips around his soft shaft, sucking gently. Ryuuzaki’s pale veiny hands that rest on the sofa on either side of his thighs remain still as she does so.

Misa has no experience with this sort of thing, but she has seen videos of other people doing it. She has gathered that teeth do not feel good, and that is easy to avoid right now. She had seen other people use tongue sometimes, so she licks around the intrusion in her mouth, then again, and again. The give of the flesh is intoxicating against her tongue and lips. Slowly, his cock thickens between her lips, filling, growing longer and firmer, and _that_ was divine. Although it is suddenly harder to not use her teeth, she _loves_ the feeling of having something heavier and substantial in her mouth. He has grown so _much_ that she pulls off to appreciate her handiwork.

With her hand wrapped around the base of Ryuuzaki’s cock, she moves it upwards slowly. Reverently. It is not completely erect yet, feeling thick and meaty in her hand. There is still some give to it—it is definitely not as hard as it was the other day, she remembers. Misa thinks it’s time to get this show on the road, so she dives back in and tries to get him as far down her throat as she can.

Promptly, she gags harshly and pulls off, coughing. Sucking in a breath, she tries again. He hits the back of her throat _hard_ and it triggers another gag reflex. Misa lurches around his cock, and then pulls back again, eyes watering.

“Is Misa alright?” Ryuuzaki asks.

Nodding, she brings her arm up to cover her mouth to cough. Once she can breathe again, she starts to dive back in once more. Ryuuzaki places a firm hand on her shoulder. “Misa, stop.”

She sighs loudly against his pelvis. “What is it?”

“Contrary to what you may have seen online, it is much more enjoyable for me to see someone to enjoy giving a blowjob rather than watch them choke themselves on my anatomy,” he says in a total deadpan.

Misa’s brow furrows. “I… I enjoyed it! I-“

“Misa.” He stares at her. She stares back. Several beats of silence, then:

“Okay, the choking was not very nice. What do you want?”

“Start slow,” he tells her. “Only do what you are comfortable with.”

 _Only do what I am comfortable with._ She wants to ask for more instruction, but instead she wraps her hand back around the root of his cock. He stops her again. “Here, let me.”

He grips his cock, which is still not fully erect and is beginning to soften some, and he holds her chin. The man opens her lips, thumb slipping into her mouth a little, and he _feeds_ his cock between her lips. Misa keeps her mouth open, and once Ryuuzaki slips the head completely inside, she relaxes her jaw and lets her lips close gently around his length. She doesn’t do much, she basically just holds him there for a moment.

Tentatively, she licks along the length of his cock that is in her mouth, which is admittedly not much. She feels his foreskin move a little with the movement of her tongue. She looks up at Ryuuzaki and is struck by how intently he is staring down at her. His dark-rimmed eyes watch her jaw, bulging and wide, as is it works around his hardening length. His hand lets go of his cock.

Misa replaces his hand and feels a little more confident as she takes over. She feels his velvety-smooth foreskin move between her lips again and she is struck with inspiration. Misa glides her fist up his length to hold it better in place, and she dips her tongue beneath the fold of skin on his penis, smoothing over his sensitive head. He twitches heavily in her mouth, and she looks up to see his eyes flutter shut for a second.

The blonde feels that familiar pride from before swell in her chest again. _She_ did that. Misa slips her tongue underneath his foreskin once more and then sucks gently. He hums from above her, and his cock twitches again. She squeezes her hand around the length experimentally and notices how much harder it has gotten since they’ve reset.

For a few minutes, Misa tongues at him in silence, only the sounds of Ryuuzaki’s heavy breathing filling the air. The blonde pulls off.

“Can you, like, talk or something? I want to know if you’re liking this, and you’re supposed to be teaching me.”

Ryuuzaki’s previously slack face refocused on her features. He looks… a little dazed, if Misa were being honest. “Of course, Misa. My apologies.”

Satisfied, Misa rolls his foreskin back, ducks down, and wraps her lips back around his head. This time, she tries to take him a little deeper.

“It feels good, Misa. You’re, ah, doing very well so far,” he tells her, a little awkward. She suckles at the head of his cock, and he hums responsively.

Misa tries to go even deeper, but he hits the back of her throat before she can make more progress. “That’s fine, just that is fine,” he reassures her. “What you can’t cover, you can use your hands.”

So, Misa does. She goes as deep as she can without gagging, and then strokes downward. She awkwardly tries to stroke the bottom half of his penis while only sucking on the top bit, but she keeps hitting her own lips with her fist. In maneuvering her hands and lips, Misa finds that bobbing her head whilst stroking his wet cock in time makes Ryuuzaki grunt satisfyingly from deep in his chest, so she _definitely_ keeps doing that.

“Misa, Misa that’s good, you’re doing so good,” he repeats, an edge in his voice. “ _Fuck_. I want you to—” Instead of explaining, he simply reaches for her other hand and places it on his sack, squeezing gently. Ryuuzaki groans, his head falling back against the sofa.

Misa feels a little bit like she is patting her head and rubbing her stomach at the same time. It is difficult to stroke and massage at the same time, but she feels she is doing an alright job, judging by his reaction. Her jaw is starting to seriously ache, though. He is so _thick._ Misa pulls off and squeezes her hand a little tighter as she strokes up his cock more fully.

Apparently, her saliva is not a very good lubricant, but whatever stuff from the back of her throat she coughed up is, and so is the precum that is steadily dripping from his cock—there is so _much_ of it. She moves her hand in long, heavy strokes, fingers barely touching around his girth. Misa looks up at Ryuuzaki’s long neck and watches his pronounced Adam’s apple bob noticeably. Fascinated, she stares at him, until he drags his head back up to stare down at her.

“Misa is a fast learner,” he tells her, voice strained, eyes hooded. “Light will be very pleased, I think.”

Misa smiles, a self-satisfied quirk of her lips. The praise makes her skin prickle. She is so excited to have Light look at her like _that_. Pupils blown wide and dark, a special sort of hunger emanating from them. His eyes are so _alive_. She ducks back down to take him back into her mouth.

Misa continues to stroke and bob her head, doing her best to ignore the ache in her jaw, lips stretched tight around him. Without knowing, her fingers that are fondling him below slipped deeper, pressing against the skin behind his balls.

“Yes, _yes_ Misa _that_ , keep your hand there.” He sounds a little manic with it, his hand coming up to cover hers where it was massaging his balls. He presses his hand over top hers. “Push your fingers there harder, like this.” Panting, he screws his eyes shut for a moment, wrenches them back open, then continues. “The prostate is located above the, ah. The perineum and it feels.” More panting. “It’s good to press there,” he finishes sloppily.

Misa doesn’t even know what a prostate _is_ , let alone a perin-whatever, but she takes his word for it. She forgoes his balls altogether then and presses the backs of two fingers firmly against that skin. His hand keeps hers in place. She swallows around the head of his cock as well as she can and more precum drips into her mouth, salty and warm. His hips twitch toward her face a little. “Ah, ah, that’s it, Misa, yes,” he says, words soft with a slight slur.

The blonde continues like that, a constant chorus of praises falling from Ryuuzaki’s mouth, music to Misa’s ears. She realizes, belatedly, just how turned on she is. She can feel how wet her panties have gotten, her nipples _hard_ against the bra she wears. Misa uses her bicep to rub against her nipples and she moans a little around his cock, body jerking, eyelashes fluttering. Ryuuzaki opens his eyes, feral and dark. “Touch yourself,” he murmurs.

Confused, Misa looks up to see his ravenous gaze. She does not stop.

“Touch yourself,” he repeats, voice _deep_. “I want you to touch yourself with me in your mouth.”

Ryuuzaki’s voice _wrecks_ her, nethers twitching around nothing. He removes his hand from hers. Misa slowly pulls her hand from between his legs and reaches down beneath her dress. Oh _god,_ her panties are _soaked._ She presses two fingers there and moans loudly around Ryuuzaki. He hasn’t even blinked, staring so intently at her. “You’re probably so _wet_ ,” he rumbles with his gravelly-rough voice. “So _desperate_.”

She is hardly paying attention to what she is doing to him anymore, mindlessly bobbing her head in time with her fist. She slips the fingers of her left hand inside her panties and pinches her clit between two fingers, rubbing up and down. _Everything_ is so sloppy, so wet. Ryuuzaki’s cock is so shiny with her saliva, so much so that it rolls down her forearm. Her fingers are sopping with her own fluids between her legs. Her cunt feels puffy and swollen and slippery when she squeezes her thighs and she is suddenly so _close, oh god_. All that is running through her mind is _Ryuuzaki wet good Ryuuzaki fuck fuck fuck._

“Misa, _Misa_ keep going, I’m going to- ah. Keep moving your hand, don’t stop, you’re so _good,_ Misa, _so good,_ ” he babbles. His praise shoots down her spine electric and hot, and oh, Misa _comes._ She comes so hard her vision blacks out for a second. Mouth slack around Ryuuzaki’s cock and thighs seizing, she lets out a fractured moan. Her entire body shakes against her own hand, much wetter than before, and as she comes back down from it, she realizes Ryuuzaki has taken himself into his hand, stroking quickly against her lips.

“You’re so beautiful, so good Misa, love watching you come, you’re so _expressive,_ ” he pants. “I’m going to come, I’m going—where do you want—” One hand is frantically stroking his cock in quick jerks, the other is buried behind his balls. Misa’s mouth is still slack around his cock head, and suddenly she is aware of what is about to happen. Reactively, she pulls back, flinching.

“Not in my mouth!” She shrieks, wrapping her wet hand around the head of his cock and aims him lower. Ryuuzaki takes a deep breath, and he inhales, inhales, inhales and then he holds it. Only the sound of his hand moving along his flesh overtakes the room for four, five, six tense seconds before his orgasm finally hits. He lets out his breath as several thick ropes of come shoot from the tip of his cock, coating her collar bones and chest with his come.

Once he is finished, she sits back on her heels. Her jaw is throbbing, her thighs are cramping, and if she’s honest, her arm is a little sore from stroking. She is fucking _exhausted_ , but she feels so satisfied. She _did that!_ She made Ryuuzaki orgasm. She watches as his penis twitch as it rests, and then she meets Ryuuzaki’s dark, sated eyes.

“Penny for your thoughts,” he says.

She screws up her mouth, unable to keep the smile from her face. “I’m… really, really happy, Ryuuzaki.” Her grin breaks free. “That was so much fun!”

He snorts, reaching behind his neck to pull his shirt off. He starts to wipe away the semen on her chest. “I’m glad Misa had a good time.”

“I _know_ you had a good time too. Look at what you’re cleaning up!” She is beaming up at him.

His eyes are playful when they glance up from his task. “I cannot deny that I enjoyed myself.”

“I can’t wait to do this to Light!” She cheers, endorphins coursing through her body, then she pauses. “I feel like I didn’t learn very much.”

He finishes wiping her throat and then balls his shirt up, setting it aside. “As I’ve said before, oral sex is fairly specific to the person. What Misa needs to do is listen to what Light likes, and if she is comfortable performing accordingly, well.” His lips pressed together momentarily, “I should think Misa-Misa and Light-kun will have _many_ fun nights together.”

The room falls quiet for a few peaceful moments. Ryuuzaki stares at Misa, and Misa stares at her hands. Quietly, she murmurs, “ _Thank you_ , Ryuuzaki.”

“There is no need for thanks,” he replies just as quietly. Intimately. “We had an agreement.” He reaches down to the floor to pull his shorts and jeans on. He stands in front of Misa, a little unsteady, and holds his hand out. “I will walk you to the restroom.”

Misa looks up at him from where she is situated on the floor. “For what?”

His humor is back, intimacy dissolved. “Misa needs a shower. And I am a gentleman.”

She smiles, a real, genuine one that Misa doesn’t realize Light has never seen, and she takes his hand gratefully.

≠

Ryuuzaki wasn’t around when Misa got out of the shower, but she doesn’t mind. She needs time to think.

Misa wraps herself in a towel and rubs the fogged glass in the bathroom with her palm to clear it. She watches her own eyes, shining and excited, thoughts racing over what exactly just happened.

 _Alright_ , she tells herself. _So Ryuuzaki got a blowjob._ _And it was… educational._

She bites her lip. _There is a problem here, though_ , Misa reminds herself.

There is no more ignoring her feelings for the detective.

She doesn’t know _why_ , Lord only knows. Fuck’s sake, he’s a strange man with stranger yet tendencies. He isn’t even that _good looking_ , unlike her Light.

 _Light_ , she thinks, watching her own eyes still as they dim a little in her reflection. _Her Light_.

 _Her_ Light, with his gorgeous caramel eyes and stunning voice. _Her_ Light, with his high expectations and flaring temper. _Her_ Light, who is her fucking boyfriend right now _._

_‘Light-kun is a lucky man to have such a devoted girlfriend.’_

Misa’s stomach turns, knowing she can no longer deny the stirring in her body she feels when she sees Ryuuzaki.

 _Avoid him_ , she thinks. _Avoid avoid avoid._ She got what she wanted out of Ryuuzaki, so all she needs to do is… never talk to him again.

Avoiding things is easy. When she was allowed to go outside, she avoided paparazzi like it was her job. She supposes it _was,_ in fact, her job. But she was excellent at it. Her manager had always told her to avoid reading online comments about her and while she never followed Rem’s advice, she definitely knew she was capable of doing that! Misa avoids things all day long: carbs, mustard yellow clothing, drinks that stain teeth, floral perfumes, horizontal stripes—she could easily add Ryuuzaki to that list.

Light will never know. Everything will be fine. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

She _hates_ Light when he’s angry.

Avoid, avoid, avoid.

 _Fuck_.

≠

Shit fully hits the fan when Misa accidentally slips up, and her brilliant plan to avoid Ryuuzaki was trampled by her own mistake.

She and Light had been cuddling. Rather, she had been massaging his shoulders while he sat upright in a chair and almost completely ignored her, which is basically cuddling with Light as far as Misa was concerned. She was chatting away about anything and everything, until she mentions Ryuuzaki in an overly-casual way.

“When were you with Ryuuzaki?” He asks her, speaking for the first time in over half an hour.

Her hands pause on his shoulders, and they resume immediately. It was a small disturbance, but Light notices it. Of _course_ Light notices it.

“I meant. Matsu! I meant Matsuda, hah, sorry about that!” She chirps almost directly into his ear, too loud. Light turns around in his chair, her hands fall from his shoulders.

“What is going on between you and Ryuuzaki?”

Misa doesn’t say anything.

“Misa?” He asks again, insistent.

She still stays silent.

“Misa.” It’s not a question anymore.

The guilt from before is back and with vengeance. It curdles in her tummy. Misa looks at the floor, eyes watering without her permission. She knows she must tell him. Good girlfriends don’t lie to their boyfriends, Misa knows that.

“I…” She starts. “We, um. I asked him for some help the other week, and. We—” the door to Light’s bedroom opens just then. Matsuda is breathless, standing in the doorway, chest heaving.

Light is agitated, and he whirls on Matsuda. “What?! What do you want? You aren’t supposed to be here, Matsuda.” His anger is palpable.

“Ryuuzaki wants to talk to you guys! He says he wants to meet on his floor.”

Misa feels momentary relief flood her limbs. “Why?” She asks.

“Don’t know!” Matsuda exclaims. “He just told me to come up right away, so I think it’s important.”

Light grumbles and turns to Misa. “We are not done with this conversation,” he tells her. “Let’s go.”

The three of them walk to the elevators. Light and Misa board the elevator while Matsuda stays behind. “I’ll catch the next one,” he waves. “See you later, Misa!”

“Bye Matsu,” she replies as the doors slide shut.

The silence in the elevator is deafening between the two of them. Light’s arms are crossed, and Misa’s are linked behind her back. Misa finds the tension extremely uncomfortable.

They exit the elevator together and walk to Ryuuzaki’s private office where he sits in his usual crouch, atop a ridiculously expensive rolling chair. Misa hasn’t seen him since The Blowjob. His appearance hits her like a freight train, her sensory memory flashing the smoothness of his cock, the taste of his precum, and the waver in his voice as he spoke that night through her mind.

“There is something Light-kun must know,” he says in lieu of greeting as they walk into the room, thumb against his lips, wrenching Misa back to reality. He continues without waiting for Light to respond. “Misa has been cleared in the investigation and she is free to go.”

There are several beats of silence as Misa’s stomach drops, nervous and confused. Light is composed, all reigned-in fury and clenched cheek muscles. “And why is that?”

“Some evidence has come to my attention that has proven her innocence in these matters, so she is free to go,” he explains vaguely. “That is all, you two may leave. Misa, Watari will be in your room to help pack your things.”

Misa’s wide eyes are locked on Ryuuzaki’s. He stares back. Then, Light explodes. “Why is she free to go and I’m not?” His always-present composure is cracked now, nothing but bright red fury underneath. “What the hell, Ryuuzaki? What could have cleared Misa and not myself?”

Ryuuzaki’s thumb leaves his lips and he grips his knees. Several beats pass, one, two, then: “Misa and I had sex.”

Silence. Nothing but. Misa could hear a mouse breathe. Light slowly, so slowly, turns his eyes on Misa. Ryuuzaki continues, but Light does not look at him. “After becoming more closely acquainted with her thought processes and motives, I decided she is harmless without Light. So, Misa is free to go, and Light-kun is to remain in custody.”

Light doesn’t appear to have listened to Ryuuzaki one bit. Anticipatory tears form in Misa’s eyes. “That’s what you were doing.” His voice is so low with rage that Misa can hardly hear him. “That’s what you were doing with Ryuuzaki.”

She vaguely registers Ryuuzaki pulling out his cell phone and dialing someone, voice low and authoritative when they answer. She doesn’t hear much else though.

“I- I did it for you, Light,” she tells him tearily, voice shaking, a watery smile on her mouth. “I wanted to- to be better for,” hiccup, “you.”

“Better for me?” He breathes. “How is whoring yourself to Ryuuzaki better for me?”

The insult stings, but Misa ignores it. “I didn’t mean—"

“And now,” he seethes at her. “And now, you’re free to go. Is that a coincidence?” He takes a step menacingly toward Misa, fingers clenching and unclenching.

“No, no Light you don’t understand.” Misa shakes her head hard and fast. She cannot stop shaking.

“Light,” Ryuuzaki warns.

“Misa,” her name a hiss on his tongue. “Do you have any idea how much you’ve ruined things for me? Any at all?”

The blonde keeps shaking her head, properly crying now, too scared to speak.

“Do you—” he starts again, yelling this time, but then he is on the floor. Out cold. Ryuuzaki is behind him, slowly standing from where he landed the kick from the floor.

Misa is still shaking, hyperventilating, breathing in and in and in and in, and then she blacks out.

≠

When Misa comes to, she is in her bed. Her _own_ bed. At her _own_ apartment. Misa looks around, feeling extremely out-of-sorts. She hasn’t seen her own place in _months_. As she takes in her surroundings, she notices a piece of paper with a typed-out note printed on it taped to her bedroom wall. Blinking a few times and then squinting, she reads:

_Misa,_

_I am sure you’re very confused right now. I was not lying when I said you were free to go. Light will remain with me as he is my prime suspect for Kira, and it is not likely he will be let go. I would advise that you take this opportunity to get your life back. You have a promising modeling career ahead of you. Leave your life with Light behind._

_As for your things, W brought some clothes and toiletries for you. The rest of your belongings will be delivered in the next few days._

_Until next time, Misa._

_Ryuuzaki_

A dazed peacefulness silences Misa’s brain.

So that’s it, then.

An unfamiliar weightlessness brings her out from her bed. She walks to her bathroom, eyes glancing over the familiarly messy vanity counter, and she bounces on the balls of her feet as she looks at her reflection.

She looks… different.

It’s as if there is a light behind her eyes that was never there before. An unprompted giggle forces its way out from her mouth, and then another. Soon, she’s collapsed, laughing on her bathroom floor, eyes glistening with tears. She doesn’t know where this emotion is coming from, she doesn’t even know what this emotion _is_ , she just feels _different_.

Eventually, she gets up from the floor, twists the faucet of the shower, and steps under the warm spray of water. Once she is clean, she dresses herself in a comfortable pair of sweats and an oversized white long-sleeved shirt. Then, she plugs in her laptop, opens her email, and drafts one to her manager, something she hasn’t done for months.

All she writes is, “Hey Rem, I’m back!” And hits send. Minutes later, her cell phone is ringing. They catch up, talking about photoshoots and movie deals she’s missed, but also all the ones that have yet to come. Misa’s heart swells hearing how Rem hadn’t forgotten her and in fact had _missed_ her all these months. Rem gushes her excitement over Misa’s return, and asks where she has been all this time.

Misa leans back on her clothing-strewn sofa and stares at the ceiling, looking for the right words. Smiling, she settles on, “I fell in love, and then I think I fell in love again. Now I’ll never see them again, and I couldn’t be happier for it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it! i hope you enjoyed your read! writing these two was really fun. i loved their dynamic in the anime. 
> 
> if you want to see more of me/DN/other things i am into, follow me on tumblr! @benzaaldehyde
> 
> thanks for reading! ❤️


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